A New Start

Hopefully this year will be the year in which bad decisions will lead to positive and fruitful outcomes. Even in the past two months, huge decisions have been made - none of which were well thought out. I have been plagued recently by the wrongs that I have dealt onto others and the consequences which follow. For example, due to the heat of the moment and my intense emotions, I'd talked shit about my friends on Tumblr and a few of them saw the post. Luckily, their identities were never revealed so it is a pretty mild problem compared to the others I've had in the past, present and hopefully not the future. Hopefully. My favourite word. A word which actually has no meaning because deep down I know that what I want won't correlate even in the slightest with what I'll get. This isn't cynicism, but realism (that's what all cynics say, hah!) Sorry about the incohesiveness of my writing today - as of late and up until tomorrow, I have been on a long vacation during which my brain has not been used. At all. Not even once. Which is probably why so much has gone wrong because of my brainless decisions this year. But yeah, to be honest, I don't regret saying all those things on Tumblr because my views still stand, albeit not as strongly as before when I was writing the post. There's just been added nonchalance on the issue and numbness.

So Claudia, it might be a bit late and pointless but here is a list of goals for you to accomplish this year. Yes I am trying to work my words around using the phrase 'new year's resolution' because there is a cultural myth that the phrase is synonymous with 'nice-sounding-words-you-say-to-yourself-at-the-start-of-the-year-to-make-yourself-feel-better-about-all-the-mistakes-of-the-previous-one-which-don't-require-following-up'. I won't make these goals too hard to accomplish because I know that I'm a massive procrastinator (even now, the honeymoon period before the honeymoon period of the first week of term I am procrastinating).

What I shall do this year:

1. Expand my vocabulary depth-wise, not rude-wise.
2. Stop listening and conforming to my lusts (food ... and other stuff).
3. Be a nicer person who doesn't judge superficially. (HAH! AS IF!)
4. No seriously Claudia, listen to No. 3!
5. Try to make friends ... try to gain friendship ... try to gain real friendship which will last ... try to gain genuine friendship with those within classes which will last and not gain 'friends' in order to do better in classes.
6. I will not be side-tracked by anything that is not related to my studies. (E.g. boyfriend, drinking, partying, gaming, food, sleep, procrastination)
7. I GIVE UP ON THIS LIST it won't even happen anyway.
8. Become a better Christian (last one).